Adam Yoshida 2.0 (Now With Comments)

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

The Union Conquers All

Today we find, far across the sea
Evil men determined to kill you and me;
They will now be stopped
Because we've got a leader at the top;
As they plan their evil deeds
There are some words they should heed;
We will kill them all;

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
The Union conquers all.

In some foreign lands
Where tyrants still do reign;
There are those who live
Just to give us pain;
But, they must now know
Their time is almost up;
For we shall blow them up;

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
The Union conquers all.

No army ever gathered
No Weapon ever made;
Has been strong enough
To put the Union in her grave;
But we live in an age
Where traitors dare stand tall;
So we will hang them all;

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
The Union conquers all.

All across the world
Are the enemies of this land;
To hear them tell the story
Their lives are full of glory;
But they must all be frightened
For it isn't hard to tell;
Soon they'll be in Hell;

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
The Union conquers all.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Check This Out!

Population Control Activist Killed in Act of Racist Police Violence- San Francisco Indymedia
August 25, 2003

Raymond Evan Moore, a noted local Population Control Activist, was killed last night in the latest of a series of seemingly racially-motivated acts of police violence. Moore was accosted by the police as he left the residence of a woman in the central portion of the city and shot when he attempted to reach into his jacket for his cellular phone, apparently believing himself about to be mugged. Moore, who was white, reportedly appeared to be darker-skinned than most whites and, according to the witnesses at the scene the poor lighting could have led to his being mistaken for an African-American.

A dedicated activist, Moore was known for his deep concern over the damage being done to the planet by human beings and the sometimes-extreme measures to which he would resort in an attempt to effect change. However, Moore's unique brand of hands-on activism in his field was ultimately officially recognized by five different states. His presence was eagerly sought-after by the officials of all of those states, as well as certain Federal agencies-making him one of the most sought-after experts in his field in the United States and, indeed, in the world. His unique use of compost piles will, doubtlessly, be emulated by others in his field for many years to come.

Kenneth Gaye, a Professor of Environmental Studies at the University of California at Berkley, noted that Moore's methods were controversial, even among those within the Environmental community, "I think some people were a little upset at his occasional lack of decorum", he said.

FBI Officials would only say that "investigations are ongoing" in the seventeen murders and dismemberments of women, whose bodies were typically hidden in a large compost heap in his backyard.

A memorial service will be held at the People's Park in Berkley at 7PM tomorrow night.